My only disagreement is with the 1:1s. In my opinion, it’s too easy for managers to fall into the trap of cancelling or moving them, even if not so often.
In my opinion, those are the only meetings where we need to suck it up, and be there for our employees. A lot of the time they are really waiting for those meetings.
I appreciate your disagreement! Although I think I pretty much agree! I think it's a topic that could use a very careful lens. I do agree with it being a very easy trap, and perhaps I should not recommend it so lightly (without more guidelines). This is part of the reason I want to write less in the weeklies, and focus more on the in depth articles (though still being concise).
I once asked a direct report if I could reschedule a 1:1 because I had a very bad morning. They were in Europe so it was quite early for me, and I just did not feel like I had the mental energy to be super present in the meeting. They said "of course! no problem! we can cancel!" and I moved it for the next day. We didn't end up having much of an agenda, however they were super grateful that I rescheduled instead of cancelling. They went out of there way to say I didn't need to do that, but appreciated it. I reaffirmed that even if we don't have an agenda, it will always be important to me that we can meet every week. Having a standing 1:1 super lowers the barrier to talking. It can be hard to schedule a meeting to talk about something (especially if you have a busy manager), but if you're already meeting it lowers the barrier.
Yeah, I think we are not far off, and it seems like it was a good decision in your case.
But for most managers, I would still advise in a similar case to hold the meeting at the original time.
The habit of moving them around, postponing, and finally skipping some, is very easy to fall into. It’s start with just one decision.
As managers, our days are always packed, and very often emotionally draining. If we give ourselves the excuse to treat 1:1s as not sacred - it will eventually affect our people.
I know it’s individual, but for me, I prefer to be 80% there but in the original than be 100% present there but one day later.
Sometimes it even gets you closer to your people - sharing yourself your difficulties once in a while.
A very solid perspective, I think it would solve any EM well to hold this view! I really appreciate you leaning in and sharing your thoughts. In particular your last note about sharing your personal difficulties is a way to build connection (once in awhile).
Super post with a lot of learning packed, thanks for sharing.
I’ve been thinking a lot about meetings and how it’s important for a leader to carefully manage them. Leaders are also humans and go through personal ups and downs.
A lot of the times we have to hide all the stress and down, because a leader’s words have downstream impact.
I'm happy to hear it was useful for you! I align with what your saying. I often tell my direct reports that it is my job to shield them from the chaos of the organization so they can focus on solving problems. It's a hard balance because it's important to share context and be transparent. Also sharing my personal struggles with the team and being authentic, while not burdening them or making them into my therapist! Being a leader is very fun, I am always learning!
I think our approach towards leadership matches very closely. It is very important to create a space for members to contribute and be that noise canceling layer protecting them from the chaos. Great stuff Coltin.
Thanks for your comment, your questions are very insightful!
I don't think I've moved a 1:1 more than once for a particular report (other than being sick or taking paid time off). I wish I had gone into more detail in the article (or omitted the example), but I treat 1:1s with reports as sacred. It's pretty rare that I would move one.
I communicate about these rare occurrences honestly and transparently. This helps me hold myself accountable and to not get into a pattern. In our 1:1 I re-affirm with the report that I am grateful for us being able to reschedule, that I do not want to make it a habit, and that their time is very important to me. It might sound absurd, and it can be a little awkward, but I am okay with that because it helps keep me honest.
I am sorry to hear you experienced this! It is unfortunately common in the industry, and I have a few engineers on my team who who expressed similar experiences with other managers. Your time is incredibly valuable, and I hope you always find people who will appreciate that!
Loved the article :)
My only disagreement is with the 1:1s. In my opinion, it’s too easy for managers to fall into the trap of cancelling or moving them, even if not so often.
In my opinion, those are the only meetings where we need to suck it up, and be there for our employees. A lot of the time they are really waiting for those meetings.
I appreciate your disagreement! Although I think I pretty much agree! I think it's a topic that could use a very careful lens. I do agree with it being a very easy trap, and perhaps I should not recommend it so lightly (without more guidelines). This is part of the reason I want to write less in the weeklies, and focus more on the in depth articles (though still being concise).
I once asked a direct report if I could reschedule a 1:1 because I had a very bad morning. They were in Europe so it was quite early for me, and I just did not feel like I had the mental energy to be super present in the meeting. They said "of course! no problem! we can cancel!" and I moved it for the next day. We didn't end up having much of an agenda, however they were super grateful that I rescheduled instead of cancelling. They went out of there way to say I didn't need to do that, but appreciated it. I reaffirmed that even if we don't have an agenda, it will always be important to me that we can meet every week. Having a standing 1:1 super lowers the barrier to talking. It can be hard to schedule a meeting to talk about something (especially if you have a busy manager), but if you're already meeting it lowers the barrier.
Yeah, I think we are not far off, and it seems like it was a good decision in your case.
But for most managers, I would still advise in a similar case to hold the meeting at the original time.
The habit of moving them around, postponing, and finally skipping some, is very easy to fall into. It’s start with just one decision.
As managers, our days are always packed, and very often emotionally draining. If we give ourselves the excuse to treat 1:1s as not sacred - it will eventually affect our people.
I know it’s individual, but for me, I prefer to be 80% there but in the original than be 100% present there but one day later.
Sometimes it even gets you closer to your people - sharing yourself your difficulties once in a while.
A very solid perspective, I think it would solve any EM well to hold this view! I really appreciate you leaning in and sharing your thoughts. In particular your last note about sharing your personal difficulties is a way to build connection (once in awhile).
Super post with a lot of learning packed, thanks for sharing.
I’ve been thinking a lot about meetings and how it’s important for a leader to carefully manage them. Leaders are also humans and go through personal ups and downs.
A lot of the times we have to hide all the stress and down, because a leader’s words have downstream impact.
I'm happy to hear it was useful for you! I align with what your saying. I often tell my direct reports that it is my job to shield them from the chaos of the organization so they can focus on solving problems. It's a hard balance because it's important to share context and be transparent. Also sharing my personal struggles with the team and being authentic, while not burdening them or making them into my therapist! Being a leader is very fun, I am always learning!
I think our approach towards leadership matches very closely. It is very important to create a space for members to contribute and be that noise canceling layer protecting them from the chaos. Great stuff Coltin.
Thanks for the great curation! And appreciate sharing my recent article!
Thanks Gregor! I'm glad you liked it, thanks for sharing all your writing!
Thanks for the Mention Cole :)
It's important to find the balance between how you feel and what you need to do.
Sometimes, when it happens too often, we need to stop and figure out what's going on with us.
Otherwise we might end in an endless loop of rain checking everything because we don't feel like doing that.
How do you handle times when you don't feel like having 1:1s for a long period of time?
And how do you communicate it?
Thanks for your comment, your questions are very insightful!
I don't think I've moved a 1:1 more than once for a particular report (other than being sick or taking paid time off). I wish I had gone into more detail in the article (or omitted the example), but I treat 1:1s with reports as sacred. It's pretty rare that I would move one.
I communicate about these rare occurrences honestly and transparently. This helps me hold myself accountable and to not get into a pattern. In our 1:1 I re-affirm with the report that I am grateful for us being able to reschedule, that I do not want to make it a habit, and that their time is very important to me. It might sound absurd, and it can be a little awkward, but I am okay with that because it helps keep me honest.
Way to go!
I worked in a company in which our time was not appreciated at all, and 1:1s and meetings would be canceled on a regular basis.
So having a team lead like you is so important to keep morale up and people satisfied.
I am sorry to hear you experienced this! It is unfortunately common in the industry, and I have a few engineers on my team who who expressed similar experiences with other managers. Your time is incredibly valuable, and I hope you always find people who will appreciate that!